It's Only The Beginning

Preschool has ended. Two years of ABC's and 123's and they say she's ready for Kindergarten. I can't help but think about how soon it will be until I'm sitting here at my computer typing "Kindergarten has ended". Once you have kids of your own you can more fully comprehend how our lives on earth are just a blink of an eye to our Father in Heaven. If I sit and think about the past 29 years of my life it does feel like it's gone by so fast. And now my precious porcelain doll is getting ready to broaden her horizon beyond our little neighborhood haven. The other day after gymnastics she came home and later that night she told me (she had obviously been thinking about it for awhile) that when her class was standing in line one of the girls kicked another girl and then switched spots with Alex and blamed the kick on Alex saying "Alex is mean, Alex is mean". My first thought was, what is going to happen while she's at Kindergarten half the day every day? And what if some day she stops telling me what is going on at school and I loose the connection we've had for the past 5 years? I asked her what she did and she said "nothing, I just stared into space". She's not a fighter. Do I want her to be? No. But I don't want people to walk all over her either. We went over a few different scenarios of what she could have done and what she should do in the future. I pointed out that this is the kind of stuff she will be facing in Kindergarten and she needs to rise above it and not let it bring her down. We've been practicing for the past few months how to not let teasing get to her. She's had boys tease her before and she's even been on the other end of the teasing when she met a boy she wanted to be friends with but didn't know how to go about making that connection.

I'm trying to teach her how to make friends and what to do if she is in a room full of kids she doesn't know.

I'm trying to teach her how to "not care" what others say because they are only doing it to get a reaction.

I'm trying to teach her how to care for other's feelings and to make compromises.

I'm trying to teach her that just because everyone doesn't want to do what she wants to do, doesn't mean they don't want to play with her. Sometimes she just needs to do what they want to do and ask if they will play her game next.

But how does she learn these lessons? Through experience of course. The hardest part is that I won't be around to coach her through all of it, the experiencing will be happening away from the home. I just have to keep the lines of communications open when she gets home and wants someone she can talk to that she trusts. Hopefully I can always remember to be that person for her.

She is at her friend's house right now. Her first friend actually. She was 2 1/2 and she found a girl down the street that was so much like her and they have been best friends for the past 3 years. What is she going to do if none of her friends are in her Kindergarten class with her? What if she gets assigned a seat next to someone she doesn't know on the bus? These are thoughts that go through my head on a daily basis and I need to figure out how I am going to handle it because that makes a big difference on how Alex will handle it. I want to take her concerns seriously without becoming her crutch. Does that make sense? Anyway, I have a whole summer to keep her my own and I'm going to relish in her innocence as long as I can.

The other thing I have to think about is how this is going to alter Johnny's world. When she left to play with her friend he started sobbing and chanting "I need sissy, I need sissy". So I gave him her stuffed elephant that she sleeps with at night and put him down for a nap to pass the time until she gets home. One summer, I have one summer, just a few months until my world gets turned upside down. Here's hoping the transition goes smoothly.

P.S. So far today "pancake love me" and "red lego love me". Johnny is so loved.