Conflict of Interests

A couple of weeks ago we had a meeting for Alex's soccer team and they handed out uniforms. This is about how it went:
Coach: "Ok, Alex it's your turn to pick. What number do you want 2 or 5?"
Alex: (blank look on her face)
Me: "Pick a number Alex. Do you want 2 or 5?"
Alex: (blank look continues...) then "No Thanks".
I guess they weren't her color, I doubt they make "red, pink, and sparkly" soccer uniforms.

Well yesterday was her first soccer game. She's been looking forward to it for so long now. Dispite the fact that her uniform was yellow and green (for heaven's sake) and the shorts "looked like a skirt" and the shirt will still fit her when she's in junior high, she was excited to get dressed down for the game, shin guards and all. Cleats aren't neccessary for this age seeing as though their field is about the size of my bed. We got there and Alex realized that there were boys on her team and not only that, they were on the team she would be playing against too! The whole talk about why she needed shin guards led her to believe that these boys would be trying to kick her in the shins and "what if they kicked her in her knees, they didn't have a guard?" So she did not want to go out and play or even warm up with her team. It didn't help that we were a couple of minutes late (we had to stop at the porta potties on the way to her field). We tried to encourage her and put her mind at ease and finally bribed her with a trip to the park after the game. Well finally at the last quarter (they have 4, 5 minutes quarters) she decided that she wanted to go to the park after the game and it was worth getting "kicked in the knee". So she gets in and kicks the ball to the team mate next to her to start the game and then stands there with her arms folded for a minute until she walks off the field annoucing that she's done. On the way home we talked about all the things she was scared to do the first time she tried them (like jumping off of the high dive). She seems confident now that she will play in her next game and do just fine. We will do some practicing this week to build her confidence.

I just had to ask myself, "what's wrong with me?" Why did I put her in soccer and not dance? I know that she would love dance. I have visions of taking my daughter rock climbing and kayaking some day. I want to take her backpacking and climb to the top of a mountain with her. I want her to play in the mud and love the rain. If she gets in to dance or cheerleading, what will we have to talk about? I guess I'm trying to raise myself the perfect best friend and I need to remember that it's not what I want, it's what she wants that is most important. I am going to ask my friend about sign ups for her daughter's dance class today. Or at least look into a gymnastics class or something a little less agressive than soccer. I'll let you know how next Saturday's game goes.